KK started her Kids Matter journey as a parent attending a programme in her community. Now she is a Kids Matter facilitator and has just finished running her first group (also Kids Matter’s first mandarin group!). We asked KK about her experience:
Why did you decide to be a Kids Matter Facilitator?
I was a guest at Amirah’s Kids Matter group last year. I learned so much from that. It’s not just about the parenting skills but also about opening the door to our community. Months later when Fuzz asked me if I would like to become a Kids Matter facilitator, I had no idea what a facilitator was at all. As a person who tends to be introverted, the idea of leading a group seemed daunting. I thought it was beyond my capabilities so I lacked of confidence. But Fuzz encouraged me to do something for our community especially for those mandarin speaking immigrants who are feeling isolated as parents. This resonates deeply with me as I used to feel lonely when I came to London years ago.
You’ve just run our first Kids Matter group in mandarin! What was a highlight for you?
I’m so proud to be the first one running a mandarin Kids Matter group. The highlight for me was the support and encouragement from everyone involved, from planning to the start of our first session. Various challenges inevitably arose, like worrying that I couldn’t get enough guests to come; our crèche helper’s DBS check wasn’t ready when we started and so on. But with everyone’s help, we managed to overcome them smoothly. I am truly grateful for everyone’s support.
What makes Kids Matter easy to run in your community?
Firstly, St Luke’s church is a perfect place for its location and all the facilities. Also, we have a wonderful team for running Kids Matter. We pray, prepare, support and help each other. Secondly, many mandarin speaking parents are young people from abroad. They don’t have family support around and they don’t know too much about the community, so they are eager and willing to learn parenting skills.
How has Kids Matter made a difference to the families in your group?
Guests found out they’re not lonely; everyone experiences similar joys and difficulties in parenting. One mum says our group is one of her community supports now.
We have grandparents and mums in our group so it’s perfect when the young generations look back at how they’re raised. Also, the grandparents (who help look after their grandchildren) know what young people are thinking and then they can reduce the disagreement with the parents. Sometimes there are different opinions between but finally we reach a consensus; learning from each other and complementing each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
One guest said after her husband did the quiz about love languages; they went through their answers together and found out their differences. Now they can understand and love each other more.
Another guest shared that she tried the love language “affectionate touch” which she’s not good at. Now her daughter’s looking forward to her kiss and hug every morning when they reach the school gate. She feels very happy and touched.
What is something you’ve learned from running a programme?
Being a good listener and giving everyone the opportunity to share their insights, we’ll find that everyone has a lot of wisdom. We can gain many meaningful things from it.
Are you planning to do another one?
Yes. Definitely.